Red Sox Avoid Yankee Sweep

Okay, okay, RS Nation, don't get all excited.
You won one of three, don't be so delighted.
Our pitcher looked lost, our hitters were dozing --
and Thames in left field by the Green Monster was frozen.

Marcus seemed to forget that behind him was a wall --
whose height might possibly affect a ball.
Burnett, as noted, was not sharp or even good --
Though if I was Papi, still worry I would.

He hit one deep that years ago would have been gone --
now just a double, how'd David go so wrong?
Everyone else is hitting tonight, Boston's so proud --
Though when the Sox face the O's next month you won't be so loud.

Now Lester's an inspiration, I gotta admit --
Beat that cancer and his pitches give us fits.
He'll be a big star, believe me, I know --
But the rest of your team, ugh, they gotta go.

Now Youk is pretty good, though he needs a shave
(That baboon look -- do women really crave?)
Pedroia is something, and Ellsbury too.
Most of the rest ain't worth my left shoe.

The bullpen is weak, what's Wake doing there?
Dice-K is a waste and doesn't seem to care.
Still do like Varitek, but just gotta say --
He ain't the same stud since losing Hazel Mae.

We'll see youz again in a week or so --
At the Stadium in da Bronx, we'll be ready to go.
Please bring your "A" game and lots of desire --
It's so much more fun when we're fighting down to the wire.


Off to Minka for a massage,
Derek