Red Sox are 0-6???!!!

Oh, no, my eyes MUST be playing tricks --
Are the Sawx really 0-and-6?
In the 8th inning I must have sneezed --
Did the Sox really lose by getting suicide squeezed?

What's wrong with the Sawx? Do they really stink this bad?
Can't be -- there's no better players with John Henry's bucks to be had.
I know what the problem is: the batting order is a mess --
And, youz knows, the fix is easy, I must confess.

You paid him boatloads, why isn't Crawford leading off?
"I don't like going first," he whines -- is he really so soft?
Follow up with Pedey and Youk, move Papi back to number four.
Do something soon, or Ace Tickets will be scalping no more!

We'll see youz tomorrow -- Minka just can't wait.
Cause if we keep Beantown's losing streak going, she promised me a special date:
Happy hour at the Cask 'n Flagon, then candlepins galore...
Can't wait to hear that Fenway crowd crying: "Oh no, no more!"

0-6? Youz kiddin' me!
-Derek

Papelbon Blows Another One...Is the Fat Lady Singing Yet?

How many games can Papelbon blow Before he's shipped to another team? How many mistakes can the Red Sawx make Before the game becomes obscene? The answer, my Nation, is blowing in the Fens -- The answer is blowing in the Fens... How many dumb moves can a manger make Before he's booted out the door? How long can a general manager be employed On the fumes of what his team has won long before? The answer, my Nation, is blowing in the Fens... The answer is blowing in the Fens... And how low can Papi batting average go Before he finally retires? How many minor leaguers will play in Fenway Before John Henry approves more big-league hires? The answer, my Nation, is blowing in the Fens -- The answer is blowing in the Fens. Good luck with the Rays, Derek

Papelbon Blows Another

Oh, man, thought the Sawx were on a roll.
But, again, scowling Paps puts the team in a hole.
He was great, once, but now Tito never knows
What he'll get when Paplebon throws.

Did you see what we did in Texas last night?
Down 6-1 to Lee, the game looked like a fright.
But we rallied, 7th, 8th and 9th innings...
Mo came in, Elvis tripled and I wasn't sure we'd be winning.

But ol' Mo took care of the next three
Including free-swinging ol' Vladdy.
Tell Paps to watch the tape, that's how it's done.
(And the closer can smile once in a while -- show he's having fun.)

Good luck in Texas,
Derek

Swish Beats Youk in All-Star Game Vote

Yes, Youk could use the rest instead --
Why not spend the rest of the season in bed?
Bombers rest players by telling them not to hit dingers --
Swish is a big personality&playing well - though not a ringer.

The Nation's comments sound like sour grapes...
Nation can't vote as fast as Yank's apes.
That numbered password thingy might've been confusing --
Or else the Nation's numb from all the recent losing.

See youz in Anaheim,
Derek

Giambi Takes Papelbon Deep, Walks Off

Is it gas -- or the thought of facing a former Yankee
that makes Paps scowl like he smelled something stanky?
What do you call a closer who gives up dingers galore?
"The key to our bullpen," says the Nation with a roar.

Love that Papelbon, doncha RS Nation?
Why not stick him into the rotation?
So fun to see ol' Jason take him deep.
Into his clam chowdah, watch Tito weep.

You need a closer like Donovan, Landon's the man.
Time's expired, he's still doing everything he can.
Paps winces and scowls and throws the heat --
Every Yankee (current and ex-) knows he can be beat.

Is there a doctor in the house?

What's with the Sawx doctors, can't even tell good fibs--
Jacoby's got a bruise, no, that's 2 orders of broken ribs.
Cranky Josh pinched a nerve, no, he wrenched his back.
Dice-K not really on the DL, his arm's just out of whack.

Bean-town's got med schools galore --
Can't John Henry buy a med student who knows the score?
Make a proper diagnosis, treat the patient well --
A random shot in the neck for Scutaro's back, what the hell?

The only healthy guys are the ones in AARP --
Papi, Tek and Lowell, doncha see?
Pede's not hitting, Beltre not fielding
Next up on the DL? Theo should be reeling.

Dinged up but getting it done,
Derek

Sox' Painful Loss to Indians 6/10

That was painful, I must say Young Josh Bard threw the game away. Beltre's heroic dinger couldn't get it done (But for once into another player he didn't run.) It's a long season, many games to go -- Sox hope most are at home, without Injuns or O's. Pap's bereavement? He's mourning the death of Papi's bat. Watch the Sox play? Think I'd rather eat my Yankee cap! We lost to the O's tonight, tho it's been awhile. Seeing youz flop, by the way, made Minka smile. -Derek