Red Sox are 0-6???!!!

Oh, no, my eyes MUST be playing tricks --
Are the Sawx really 0-and-6?
In the 8th inning I must have sneezed --
Did the Sox really lose by getting suicide squeezed?

What's wrong with the Sawx? Do they really stink this bad?
Can't be -- there's no better players with John Henry's bucks to be had.
I know what the problem is: the batting order is a mess --
And, youz knows, the fix is easy, I must confess.

You paid him boatloads, why isn't Crawford leading off?
"I don't like going first," he whines -- is he really so soft?
Follow up with Pedey and Youk, move Papi back to number four.
Do something soon, or Ace Tickets will be scalping no more!

We'll see youz tomorrow -- Minka just can't wait.
Cause if we keep Beantown's losing streak going, she promised me a special date:
Happy hour at the Cask 'n Flagon, then candlepins galore...
Can't wait to hear that Fenway crowd crying: "Oh no, no more!"

0-6? Youz kiddin' me!
-Derek