A long rainy day in Beantown

It's another sad night in Beantown, read 'em and weep --
Tomorrow the Bombers go for a sweep.
Seems some of the Sox can't function in the Fenway glare --
Beltre's got 7 errors ("defense-minded"? Theo, no one compares).

Now, some players do shine under the Green Monster lights --
Tex, for example, hit three dingers into the night.
Young Cervelli and Gardner, that rabbit-fast pair,
Hit balls and stole bases, it almost doesn't seem fair...

We're turning the "bridge year" into an endless Big Dig --
Papi at the plate looks like he's swinging a twig.
I won't make fun of your pen or starting rotation --
But pitching Van Every really won't please the Nation.

He's a nice guy, a sweet-looking boy --
I guess Tex and I were mean to play him like a toy.
Bashing a double and a homer I could barely see --
But, c'mon, Terry, Van Every ain't ready to even throw BP.

So Minka will be watching tomorrow night on ESPN,
and listening to the ramblings of senile Joe Morgan.
She's hoping young Lester doesn't bean me at all --
Though she knows feisty Burnett may hit one and all.


Nighty-night from the Cask 'n Flagon,
Derek